4.27.2011 -- 8:00 pm. | Journal 1 - "gypsy woes"

"gypsy woes"

in the last 20 minutes of ambient light - the heart of dusk, i sunk into the bath; melting myself to the scalding water and gentle push. it took me on like a champion. I, the weary warrior and fragile beacon; like the last leaf of november.

it's here i swear i could hear ghosts whisper & the earth talking in every bellow and resounding crack. it murmurs:

"ash, you have no patience anymore and winter was too hard on you; too long for the girl in dresses..."

the light is only silhouetting the window and the tips of my limbs.

i pull on this morning's washcloth with my toes, and move my legs

my hands

my mind

around,

and to.that.point.

where it

drops off;

where i can

pretend that i'm a mermaid or a leaf and can float as free as either, though my body remains rooted and resolute - 8 days from it's 28th birthday.

and it's becoming quite apparent that i'm torn between almost everything, except the desire to break free with the simplicity of tomorrow's offering: heading east and onward on the dirty open road.

these letters will comprise the rambling & imagery of the next 30-some days. they either mean nothing or everything, and i've got my pen & polaroid folded like treasures into my backpack.

so, we'll see...

see you in chicago.

ash x

ps. to my retreat attendees: today i got each of you something over 100 years old. can't wait to give them to all of you.

.:: m y . s e c r e t . l i f e ::.

"The spirit

likes to dress up like this:

ten fingers,

ten toes.

plum rough matter.

Airy and shapeless thing,

it needs

the metaphor of the body..."

- Mary Oliver

3.7.2011

----

{**blogspot mangles quality, especially of the low light imagery... so I will post to my flickr and other venues, later today. and if you venture over there, remember to turn your safe filter off to see the latest 'faerieland' piece, in my stream.} | ash | x

things to come. | recording - 2.1.2011

Update: 2.9.2011 -- (see original post below)

my time in studio was amazingly fun & we wrote some prrrrty muse-ic. i'm planning on going back over there a few times in the coming week(s) to polish up what we wrote. it was a blast & we hope to share it here & a few other places by months end. i went to bed after recording into the earliest of morning's hours, totally immersed in new ideas. the only image i took from my weekend is this very low quality cell phone snap (since the big cam. is still in the shop). leave it to me to drive out of state, in -15 degree weather with ballerina flats & no socks... and the studio was very cold, so i had to borrow someone elses. ;)

in the meantime i'm writing like mad & awaiting the moment spring comes & wakes me from this slumber.

new words & imagery blog(s) here in the coming days. -ash

****

2.1.2011

an old friend of mine is a musician & has a studio in the basement of his st. croix falls (wi) home; a pretty little home i use to live in that sits nearly on the banks of a giant, gorgeous river & backs up to a giant, gorgeous park. there is a giant dam that crashes now where the falls use to be & i use to be able to hear it in the mornings from my bedroom, with my window cracked.

he sings & plays every single instrument these days, it seems. and i thought, since i also sing quite a bit (and barely play guitar & piano, but own both) that we'd get together & record somethin' pretty, since we've been chatting about that idea for a spell, and since it's a good excuse to get out while my camera is in for repairs. not to mention, what girl doesn't feel amazing with a pick between her lips or fingertips.

so this weekend, we are giving that a go if the weather holds. it'll be a nice excuse to get out into the fresh air of a new place & into a small little artist town.

in the meantime, thought i'd post something beautiful in the style that i love just so much & probably along the route that i'll be recording in. you can be sure if we come up with anything pretty and get it down, i'll post it.

this is a cover of a dylan song that i adore. i love how these two collaborate, and this song is so sensual & moving & heavy & beautiful.

lyrics below the vid, with two of the most potent lines, ever. i'll let you find them.

ash | x

"boots of spanish leather"

Oh I'm sailin' away my own true love
I'm sailin' away in the morning
Is there something I can send you from across the sea
From the place that I'll be landing ?

No, there's nothin' you can send me, my own true love
There's nothin' I wish to be ownin'
Just carry yourself back to me unspoiled
From across that lonesome ocean.

Oh, but I just thought you might want something fine
Made of silver or of golden
Either from the mountains of Madrid
Or from the coast of Barcelona ?

Oh, but if I had the stars from the darkest night
And the diamonds from the deepest ocean
I'd forsake them all for your sweet kiss
For that's all I'm wishin' to be ownin'.

That I might be gone a long time
And it's only that I'm askin'
Is there something I can send you to remember me by
To make your time more easy passin' ?

Oh, how can, how can you ask me again
It only brings me sorrow
The same thing I want from you today
I would want again tomorrow.

I got a letter on a lonesome day
It was from her ship a-sailin'
Saying I don't know when I'll be comin' back again
It depends on how I'm a-feelin'.

Well, if you, my love, must think that-a-way
I'm sure your mind is roamin'
I'm sure your thoughts are not with me
But with the country to where you're goin'.

So take heed, take heed of the western wind
Take heed of the stormy weather
And yes, there's something you can send back to me
Spanish boots of Spanish leather.